Getting married sounds simple until you actually try to do it. Between the legal paperwork, the ceremony options, and everyone’s opinions, it’s easy to feel lost before you’ve even started. This guide walks through the entire process step by step — from the marriage license to the moment you’re officially hitched — so you know exactly what to expect.
Step 1: Make Sure You’re Legally Eligible
Before anything else, confirm you meet your state’s basic requirements:
- Age: 18 or older in most states without parental consent. A few states allow 16–17 with parental or court consent.
- Not currently married: You must be legally divorced or widowed if you were married before. Bigamy is illegal everywhere in the US.
- Not closely related: Every state prohibits marriage between close relatives, though the exact definitions vary.
- Mental capacity: Both parties must understand what they’re agreeing to.
Some states have short waiting periods or residency quirks, but for the vast majority of couples, eligibility is straightforward.
Step 2: Get Your Marriage License
The marriage license is the legal document that gives you permission to marry. Without it, your ceremony has no legal standing. Here’s how it works:
- Where: Your local county clerk’s office (sometimes called the register of deeds or county recorder). Many counties now let you start the application online.
- Who goes: In most states, both partners must appear in person with valid photo ID.
- What to bring: Government-issued photo ID (driver’s license or passport), and sometimes your birth certificate and Social Security number. If previously married, bring divorce papers or a death certificate.
- Cost: Typically $30–$100 depending on the county.
- Waiting period: Some states make you wait 1–5 days after getting the license before the ceremony. Others have no wait.
- Expiration: Licenses expire — usually after 30 to 90 days. Don’t get it too early.
Blood tests used to be required in some states, but no US state requires them anymore. One less thing to worry about.
Step 3: Choose Your Ceremony Type
You have more options than most people realize:
Civil Ceremony
Performed by a judge, justice of the peace, or court clerk — usually at the courthouse. Quick (often under 15 minutes), inexpensive (sometimes under $100 total), and legally complete. This is the fastest path to being married.
Religious Ceremony
Performed by clergy according to your faith’s traditions. Requirements vary widely — some churches require premarital counseling or membership. Check early, because popular venues book months out.
Officiant-Led Ceremony
A professional wedding officiant or an ordained friend performs a personalized ceremony anywhere you like. In most states, anyone ordained online (through organizations like the Universal Life Church) can legally officiate. Confirm your state’s rules — a few have restrictions.
Self-Solemnizing Ceremony
Colorado, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Washington DC allow couples to marry themselves without an officiant — you simply sign the license together. Quaker weddings work similarly. It’s a meaningful option if you want something deeply personal.
Elopement
Just the two of you (plus officiant and witnesses if required) in a meaningful location. Elopements are legally identical to big weddings — the only difference is the guest list.
Step 4: Arrange Witnesses (If Required)
About half of US states require one or two witnesses to sign the marriage license. Witnesses just need to be present, of legal age, and willing to sign. Your maid of honor and best man usually fill this role, but literally any adult guest can do it.
Step 5: Have the Ceremony
On the day, the legal requirements are refreshingly minimal. In most states, the ceremony must include:
- Both partners present
- An authorized officiant (except in self-solemnizing states)
- A declaration of intent — the “I do” moment, in whatever words you choose
- Signatures on the marriage license
That’s it. Everything else — the vows, the rings, the music, the readings — is tradition and personal choice, not law. A courthouse wedding with two sentences of vows is exactly as married as a $100,000 ballroom production. For a sense of how long the ceremony portion typically runs, see our guide on wedding ceremony length.
Step 6: File the Paperwork
After the ceremony, the officiant signs the license and returns it to the county clerk — usually within a few days, though the legal deadline varies by state. Once recorded, you can order certified copies of your marriage certificate ($10–$25 each). Get several copies: you’ll need them for name changes, insurance, taxes, and benefits.
Step 7: Handle the Aftermath (The Part Nobody Warns You About)
- Name change (optional): File with Social Security first, then DMV, then banks and everything else. It takes a few weeks of errands.
- Taxes: Your marital status on December 31 determines your filing status for the whole year.
- Insurance and benefits: Add your spouse to health insurance (usually within 30–60 days of marriage), update beneficiaries on life insurance and retirement accounts.
- Estate documents: Update your will, power of attorney, and emergency contacts.
How Much Does It Cost to Get Married?
The legal minimum is remarkably cheap: a license ($30–$100) plus a courthouse ceremony fee ($25–$100). You can be legally married for under $200. The average American wedding celebration costs around $30,000 — but that’s the party, not the marriage. The two are completely separable, and plenty of couples do the legal part simply and celebrate later. If you’re working with a tight timeline, our guide to planning a wedding in six months shows how to pull it all together fast.
Common Questions
Can we get married without a ceremony?
In most states, no — some form of ceremony with an officiant is required. But “ceremony” can mean five minutes at a courthouse. Self-solemnizing states are the exception.
Do we need a wedding to be married?
No. The wedding is the celebration; the marriage is the legal status. You can have one without the other.
What if we lose the marriage license before the ceremony?
Go back to the county clerk for a replacement or duplicate. Don’t try to proceed without it — an unlicensed ceremony isn’t a legal marriage.
Can a friend marry us?
In most states, yes, if they’re ordained (which takes minutes online) and your state recognizes online ordinations. A few states are stricter, so verify with your county clerk.
The Bottom Line
Getting married is a seven-step process: confirm eligibility, get the license, choose your ceremony style, arrange witnesses, say “I do,” file the paperwork, and handle the administrative aftermath. The whole legal side can be done in a week or two. The celebration part takes as long as you want it to — and if you’re still building the wedding party, start with deciding how many bridesmaids to have.
Marriage Laws Vary More Than You’d Think
While the basics are consistent nationwide, the marriage laws in the United States have surprising state-by-state quirks. A few states still have covenant marriage options with stricter divorce requirements. Common-law marriage is recognized in a handful of states and not in most. Minimum age with parental consent ranges from 16 to 18. And as noted, self-solemnization is only available in a few jurisdictions. None of this affects most couples — but if your situation is unusual (young, previously married abroad, marrying a non-citizen), spend twenty minutes on your state’s specific rules before you plan anything else.
Understanding the License Itself
The marriage license is a stranger document than people realize. Learning how marriage licenses work demystifies the process: it’s essentially the state’s permission slip, valid for a limited window, that your officiant completes and returns. The license and the certificate are different documents — the license authorizes the marriage, the certificate proves it happened. You’ll interact with the license for about ten minutes of your life, but without it, nothing else counts legally. Treat it like the critical paperwork it is: know the expiration date, keep it safe, and confirm your officiant knows the return deadline.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
- Getting the license too early: It expires. Count backward from your wedding date, accounting for any state waiting period.
- Assuming your officiant handles everything: Confirm explicitly that they’ll file the signed license — and ask when.
- Forgetting witnesses: In states that require them, no witnesses means no valid marriage. Line them up in advance.
- Name-change procrastination: Start with Social Security within the first weeks; everything else cascades from there.
- Skipping the prenup conversation: Unromantic but responsible. Even a brief discussion (with lawyers if assets are significant) prevents misunderstandings.
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